apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize