maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
