Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
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My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
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I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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