I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
