You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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