So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
