The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
