I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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