It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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