Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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