is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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