I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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