Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
