I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize