If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
