I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
