i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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