this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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