I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
