weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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