Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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