make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
