she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
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Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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