i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
