how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My Sexting was not on an AP level
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
