i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
