he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing