So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
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What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing