it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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