This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
