OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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