before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
