She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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