our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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