farters have to be the big spoon...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
