I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
