brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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