no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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