I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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