well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
