he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
