It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
