i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Come on in and take your pants off
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