my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
