You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
