Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
