Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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