I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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