My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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