i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
