Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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