I'm jealous of your bromance
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
