I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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