i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
