you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
