well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i will never coherently bang her
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
