I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
PANTIES FOUND
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
