what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
