lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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