Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
