i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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