He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think my moral compass just broke
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
