ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Randomize
