I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
