so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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