hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
