google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
ok first of all what the fuck
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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