Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
