He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
