I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
