What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
