is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
