I'm drive I can fine osifer
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
