so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Boobs are out for the taking
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I believe in your delicious
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
