Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Someone shattered a urinal.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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