Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
